Happy 76th Birthday, Mom!

Yesterday, we celebrated my mom's 76th birthday, a milestone given what she's been through this last year. Our family, my in-laws, Joan & Gene, and my uncle and aunt, Uncle Dick & Aunt Carolyn, went to my parents' house and had fried chicken and key lime pie. My mom and dad really enjoyed it, but my mom was exhausted by the end.




Check out all the pics at

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2021999&id=1213561903&l=ed3550b0a6

Forgotten

Now I know what it must be like for people who have loved ones with Alzheimer's. In the last week, my mom has asked where I live, if Sara and Daniel are my kids, and if Sara, Daniel and John live with me. Just in the last two days, she has told at least three people that she doesn't have a daughter because I don't visit her anymore. She knows she can't remember things and she cries often.

We are sure the cancer has metastasized to the brain because of these recent developments. Even though she says she doesn't have pain, you can see it in her face. So they have increased the pain patch dosage.

My dad is continuously exhausted and I feel that I'm doing the best I can. I am going to start picking up their laundry and taking it somewhere to have it done. It just wears my dad out. When I do go to the house (at least twice, sometimes three times, a week), I take out the trash and do the dishes in the sink. I know that others who take them food and go visit do the same thing and I am appreciative of that. Their pastor is trying to arrange meals for them from the church. My mom eats very little but still sits up at the table several times a day. Everyone is, of course, concerned about my dad, too, and I've relayed that to him. He says he appreciates the concern, but he is eating. He is tired, but who wouldn't be? And he is able to go out daily to get breakfast from McDonald's and to the store.

Thanks to those who have brought meals and gone by to visit. I have a new appreciation for long-term caregivers. God bless 'em!

Love,
Anita

Condition Guarded

While this is not a medical term, condition guarded, it means that a person's health condition is serious and they are being watched for changes. My mom's nurse used this phrase when describing her condition yesterday. Her blood pressure was approximately 89/64, she has shortness of breath, the fluid has traveled to her right upper lung lobe, her body is swollen from fluid from her chest to her toes, her right elbow and right jaw are swollen and her memory is terrible. She is very upset about her memory loss, which yesterday included forgetting where I live. She also asks regularly about where John works and constantly asks about the kids.

Last Saturday, my mom, dad and I were able to go for a drive around Norfolk and Virginia Beach. It was the first time my mom had gotten out of the house since Sara's birthday. We drove by the Botanical Gardens, down Shore Drive to the Amphibious Base, to Chick's Beach up Independence Boulevard through Pembroke, through Kempsville to my house, back through Virginia Beach to Virginia Wesleyan College, through the grounds of Wesleyan (where she was a bookkeeper for 25 years) and back home. The weather was 80 degrees and sunny and we drank milkshakes as we drove with the windows down. I thanked God for a wonderful day, because I felt it would be the last time my mom would be outside. It was extremely difficult for her to lift her feet up the steps to get back into the house, stopping on the last step and telling me she couldn't do it. I said, "Yes, you can, woman! You can't stay out here the rest of the day." She made it back inside and went to bed.

As I was thinking about this "condition guarded", I remembered the Proverbs verse about guarding your heart.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23

While going through this process of watching my mom continues to be difficult, I pray that I will remember to guard my heart, keep my feet from evil, fix my gaze in front of me and take ways that are firm (Proverbs 4:25-27). Please continue to pray for us as we take these final steps with my mom.

Love,
Anita

p.s.: The picture was taken in May, 1995.

Sad

I'm sad as I write this. My family is sad. We know that my mom's time on this Earth is not much longer. We put up a hospital bed on Saturday and put a twin bed in my parents' room so my dad can be in the same room with my mom. She is sleeping 16+ hours a day. The fluid is in the lower lobes of her lungs.

My prayer is that she will pass to Heaven without pain. Whether that's a few weeks from now or sooner, I pray for a peaceful passing from this world to the next.

Thanks for your encouragement and support.

Love,
Anita