Continuous Care

Just a brief update to let you know how my mom is doing. She has had a low-grade temperature the last few days and is dehydrated. She is eating a little and drinking, but not much. Her right leg is weeping (fluid is seeping out). She is incontinent and bed-ridden, but doesn't sleep all day long. She does watch some TV and her bed is by the window, so at least she can look outside.

She has been more agitated daily and they are giving her Ativan to keep her calm. She has pain but doesn't realize it. She has been getting morphine once or twice a day. Her head and back itch and I think that is all part of the fatal processes. She also has visible tumors on her abdomen (which is more rigid), and her right elbow and cheek are swollen from lymph nodes. A hospice nurse (usually Lorraine or Crystal) comes daily and changes her pain patch, as well.

I'm concerned about my dad because his memory is rapidly declining. He forgets to take his medicine and loses things more easily. My mom's nurse, Lorraine, found his hearing aid (lost for a month) in his car while she was looking for his lost cell phone (which she also found in the car). He rarely leaves my mom's side.

Their SeniorCorp caregiver, Denise, has been there for 2 weeks. She stays from 12-7 p.m. and helps the nurses, fixes meals, and cleans up the house. It gives me comfort knowing someone is there.

As of yesterday, a hospice nurse has been at the house 24 hours. They are staying again tonight and will decide tomorrow if she still needs continuous care. The continuous care nurse comes near the end of life to help the patient through the process. But if the patient stabilizes, the nurse goes to help someone else.

In addition to the physical issues with my mom, I have had to order a washer for them (ordered, then cancelled from Sears because of their HORRIBLE customer service, and then re-ordered from Home Depot) and buy groceries online from Farm Fresh (cool, except the groceries weren't ready when I went to pick them up). But the difference with the groceries is that Farm Fresh actually offered to deliver them to my parents' house for free. That's the difference in people who care. And I was SO grateful that they cared last night. Our law firm is also preparing for a trial in a couple of weeks, so it has been stressful at work, as well. And Sara's sprained ankle last week, coupled with Daniel ongoing huge load of homework, just adds to my exhaustion.

Thanks for the continued encouragement and prayers.

Love,
Anita

Easter & Morphine

We had an Easter picnic on Sunday in my parents' room. This picture was taken after they opened their cards and ate some chocolate. My mom was in a lot of pain on Sunday, so she stayed in bed most of the day.

I saw her Monday evening and she was sitting up while the SeniorCorp social worker asked questions about what type of aide we need in the home. We will have someone coming, beginning on Thursday, from noon-7:00 p.m. to help with laundry, cleaning, meals and turning my mom. My dad is exhausted.

Thanks to the many people who are bringing food and showing their love to our family in this manner.

At 2:40 this morning (April 14th), we received a call from my dad that my mom had been screaming in pain for an hour. I immediately got up and was there in less than 20 minutes. She had calmed down by the time I arrived, but I gave her morphine drops anyway. She slept until the nurse arrived at 9:00 a.m. At that time, her temperature was 101 degrees. The nurse placed oxygen on her, gave her more morphine drops and a Vicodin to help with the pain and her temperature. They didn't have any Tylenol in the house. Thanks to Gene & Joan for bringing them groceries (including Tylenol) today. Her temperature was down to 99.7 when I left at 10:30 a.m. Her other nurse came and stayed with her for about 4-5 hours today. My mom was very agitated because they re-arranged her bedroom. Hopefully, she has calmed down. It had to be changed due to safety reasons.

Please pray that my mom does not continue to experience the severe pain. That's been my prayer all along - that she wouldn't have to endure pain.

Thanks.

Love,
Anita

50 First Dates

It occurred to me yesterday that my mom's condition of not remembering that she has cancer is a lot like the traumatic brain injury suffered by Lucy in "50 First Dates". My mom has not had the opportunity to work out her anger, grief, and other feelings about having cancer because she can't remember what's wrong with her. So, every time she hears that she has melanoma, she is fearful. Yesterday was rough for her, as she asked me for the third time if she could come live with me. I asked her why she wants to live with me and she said, "Because we're here all alone and you are the only one we have". It breaks my heart to hear this. My mom can't leave the house at this point because of all the fluid.

I suggested to Sara in jest that we should make a video for my mom like the one below to show my mom all that she's been through. I told Sara I should shave her head, but she didn't go for that.