All I Want For Christmas

. . . is for my mom to be with me. That is selfish, I know, but it's what I wish for. She is going downhill and just when I think she's down for the count, she surprises me and gets back up again. While she has palpable masses on each hip and her stomach is becoming distended at times (when she doesn't eat) and her legs are swollen and pitting, she is plugging on. We had a very meaningful conversation on Sunday and that helped me release her to Jesus. But yesterday, she got up and ate. I think she wants to be here for Christmas, too. So, even though we know Jesus will take her when it's her time, we are grateful for the moments we get to spend with her here on Earth.

This picture was taken last week when Bev visited.

Love,
Anita

Reunion

Last night, we had a mini-reunion with the Edwards family. My Aunt Nancy, who lives in Tucson, came for a brief visit and Aunt Carolyn and Uncle Dick invited us to their house for pizza. We had a great time with their large clan (5 generations) and my mom, Nancy and Dick enjoyed catching up with each other.

O Christmas Tree

Sara & her friends decorated my parents' tree on Sunday. My mom was very weak from shopping and going to a church function the night before, but we got her up when the pizza arrived. Many thanks to Sarah, Sara, Grace, Amber, and Katelyn (and a shout out to Lori) for sharing their frolicking fun with my parents.

Thanksgiving

We spent Thanksgiving this year at Western Sizzlin' in Nags Head. My in-laws, Joan & Gene, have a condo at SeaScape and we drove down on Thursday afternoon. Sara drove my parents' car and I rode with them, while John & Daniel came separately (they stayed an extra day).

Sara did a great job of driving up & back and we all enjoyed being together. My mom was tired after the drive and almost winning SORRY!, so she took a long nap before dinner. It was nice to catch up with my dad during that time frame. After dinner, we took them to their hotel, the Hilton Garden Inn (very nice), and went back to SeaScape. I was so tired that I fell asleep on the couch while the rest of them played Dominoes Train. There was so much laughing that they woke me up (and I went to bed!).

The next morning, Sara and I drove my parents back home, after Dunkin' Donuts coffee and breakfast (yuuummm). It was uneventful and enjoyable.

I am thankful for the gift of having my parents with me this Thanksgiving. And thankful for the many people who pray for them and their health (and for my family as well).

May God bless you this holiday season.

Love,
Anita

Living Day by Day

Here is a picture of my mom in her 20s. She is so beautiful and still is today.

Her memory is progressively getting worse. She believes she is getting better because her head wound (from her surgery in July) is finally healing (but still has a way to go). She doesn't think she needs the hospice nurses and aides anymore, so I reminded her that she still has melanoma, something she is in denial about. Her legs are swelling and not going down. She is maintaining her weight and her appetite has remained the same. But she has more episodes of lower blood pressure (causing dizzy spells) and quick declines in blood sugar (causing hypoglycemia-hot flashes, nausea, etc.).

My dad is concerned we are going to put her and/or him in a nursing home and that is the LAST thing I would ever do. We are bringing in a hospital bed to put in the extra room when she needs it. At this point, they want to stay together in their bed, but should her health decline rapidly, the hospital bed will be there. I think that was a hard decision for my parents to make because it means that they have to see she is not going to get better.

My dad's health concerns me because he is skin and bones. He shuffles at times and is weaker. He is taking such good care of my mom, but she argues with him and gets frustrated that he can't hear. I finally flat out told them that he is getting new hearing aids. They are upset about the cost, but he can't hear me on the phone and that is an absolute necessity.

I am drained, but keep on going. My husband and kids also bear the burden of my parents' health issues. I am so grateful to my father-in-law, Gene, who has been a rock and has understood what we're going through.

Please pray for us, and also for my friends who are battling cancer, Dan and Matt. Remember that all we can do is live day by day for Jesus and bring honor and glory to Him.

Love,
Anita

Our Right & Responsibility

I had a great blog posted about voting but my computer ate it. Suffice it to say, VOTE TODAY!

I took my parents to the polls, in what may have been their last Presidential election. You never know when YOUR time is up, so VOTE! In Virginia, you have until 7:00 p.m., so just do it!

Plodding

There's not much to report about my mom. Her weight is staying fairly steady and her appetite is slightly increased. Her dementia has become worse over the last couple of weeks. She drove again, the same day the doctor told her not to, and she doesn't remember being told not to drive. Her blood pressure has been low off and on and she became lightheaded Sunday. I think she naps most afternoons.

My dad is doing the best he can. He still needs to gain weight and he gets tired of arguing when my mom becomes obstinate. But he loves her dearly and does anything for her.

So, we are plodding, really. Just keeping the pace. And grateful for the days we have.

Anita

Still Gaining

We went to the oncologist on Monday and my mom has gained a total of 11 pounds! So, things are on the upswing. I have asked the oncologist and the hospice nurse about a prognosis and they both said that we will know when she is going downhill. So, we live each day to the fullest and enjoy time with those we love. Isn't that what we're all supposed to be doing anyway?

We celebrated my dad's 83rd birthday last week at, where else? - IHOP. My mom's brother and sister-in-law, Dick & Carolyn, were able to join us (along with Gene & Joan). Here's a picture of my mom and Dick together.

Her dementia is getting worse and she has driven a couple of times, even though we've told her that her doctor doesn't want her to drive (because of diabetic neuropathy in her feet, the fact that she can't turn her head fully, her memory is bad, etc.). Hopefully, she will not attempt to drive again and my dad will be able to take the keys from her if she does.

Keep praying that she will continue to eat well and enjoy a better quality of life.

Love,
Anita

Answered Prayer

Yay!!!! My mom gained, yes, I said gained, 4 pounds this week! Thanks so much for your prayers. This is the best news I've had about my mom's health in a long time. She is definitely eating more food and it seems to be easier. Her head wound is slowly healing. Keep those prayers coming!

God is good all the time . . . all the time, God is good.

Anita

64 Pounds

That's how much weight my mom has lost since March. :( She keeps truckin' on, but her blood pressure is remaining low. (This picture of Sara & my mom was taken at her church on Sunday at a picnic.) My dad continues to have pain in his left rib cage area, but his appointment at the pacemaker center showed that everything was fine with his pacemaker and defibrillator. Please pray that Hanna the Hurricane passes by quickly and with low winds and not too much rain on Saturday. Anita

A Visit

This past weekend, my mom's niece (really, more like a daughter), Karol, came to visit with two of her three daughters, Mandy & Ashley (we missed Amy!). It was a great, if short, visit. When my mom said goodbye to them, it was heartbreaking.

Goodbyes are so hard~when I dropped them at the airport, I said "so long", because I know we will see each other again, whether on this earth or in heaven.

I've had a couple of thoughts lately that I wanted to share. First, my mom was given Biofine in early August for the radiation scab she'd had on the right side of her neck since May. Why didn't anyone tell us about this cream before? Not even the radiation oncologist's office mentioned that Biofine was meant to specifically treat the effects of radiation on cancer patients. My mom has needlessly had this painful scab on her neck for two months. It is almost completely gone now with the use of this cream prescribed by the wonderful wound care nurse, Beth. When reflecting on this, I thought of how people have the opportunity to be healed through Christ's blood but they may not know He even exists. Or, if they have heard of Christ, they may choose to not believe in His healing eternal power. We, as Christians, have the opportunity to help others learn about Christ and be cleansed of their "scabs" of sin through Him. I encourage you to share Christ's healing power with those who don't know Him.

And, last night it occurred to me that I haven't asked friends and family to pray specifically for my mom's eating problems. She isn't eating because:

1. Part of her parotid gland, which produces saliva, was taken during the February, 2008, neck dissection surgery. This means there is not a lot of saliva in her mouth and therefore, food stays in her mouth and it is difficult for her to swallow.

2. A side effect of the radiation treatments is that food does not taste "right". Many times, even the best milkshake, hamburger, or pancake tastes like metal. It is hard to enjoy eating when the food tastes bad.

So, my specific prayer request is this: pray that her saliva production increases and that her sense of taste returns in full force. I believe that if this happens, she will have a better quality of life, more strength and potentially more time on this Earth. I ask that you pray that God's will be done in this situation and if it is His will to increase the saliva and return her sense of taste that He will do so.

Thanks for your continued encouragement, prayers and love.

Anita

Reality

You know, reality can bite us in the butt. And it can be hard to swallow. Hope is always much better. But there are times when you have to face reality. This week, reality has unfortunately smacked me in the face.

My daughter, who is a great athlete and whose identity is wrapped up in being an athlete, didn't make the volleyball team at her school. This totally blows me away because she has played for 4 years. But God has a plan for her that is bigger than this team. As much as I know that, it still breaks my heart to see her not make the team.

The other reality is that my mom is not well and my dad doesn't want to see that. It must be very difficult to take care of someone for so long and see them declining.

Hospice is in place and stopping by the house twice a week. The chaplain visited with them Monday and the bereavement coordinator will visit with them soon. She went to the wound care nurse on Thursday to try to get the place on her scalp where the surgery was performed on 7/9/08 to heal. Please pray as transitions take place.

Love,

Anita

Another Story of Melanoma

As most of you know, my mother's melanoma was not my first encounter with this disease. I actually know two families who have lost loved ones and have been in contact with quite a number of others who have been touched by melanoma.

One of those who has been fighting his fight since January is a member of my church, Dr. Dan. He has been blogging (http://www.dancrabtree.blogspot.com/) about his experience and I believe he should transform that blog into a book. He has been inspirational to me and my family and I wanted to share his story with you. Please read his blog, as he shares his wisdom and godliness with others. His eighth grandchild was born last week and he was able to welcome her into this world. To God be the Glory!

Goodbye, Randy Pausch

I was angered and saddened to learn of Randy Pausch's passing this morning in his Chesapeake home. Angered because it seems like God takes those who make such a positive impact on others when WE think they should stay. Randy has three small children and his wife is from Norfolk. I had written a card to him over vacation, but lost it at the cabin we stayed in. Just this morning, after reading his blog that he was in hospice, I put the family's address in my purse to send him a card. Then I read online that he had died.

It appears that Randy was a believer in Christ and for that I am so happy. I can't wait to meet him in heaven. He was able to have such a positive impact on people despite his diagnosis of pancreatic cancer and prognosis of a short time to live on this earth. I know his wife and children are grieving in an unimaginable way today. While time lessens the pain, you never forget the love shared and the memories made. My husband, John, has been gone only a week and I've imagined what it must be like for a widow. There are things I wanted to talk to him about this week and he is unreachable in the backcountry of the North Carolina mountains. I will continue to pray for Randy's family - for healing, for comfort, for memories. And for his children to remember the man he was.

I bought The Last Lecture for my parents to read. I read through it and cried, of course. I encourage you to purchase this book. It's chock full of great lessons.

The full post of "The Last Lecture" lecture that Randy Pausch gave at Carnegie Mellon is at

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo. It's an hour long, but there are shorter posts of it on www.youtube.com. I encourage you to sit a spell and listen to it.

Anita

Almost Heaven, West Virginia . . .

West Virginia and southwestern Virginia are beautiful places. But I am definitely a flatlander! My parents, Sara and I went on a long road trip from Thursday through Saturday to Princeton, West Virginia. We started in Richmond on Thursday where my mom had an appointment with the MCV doctors (a follow up liver transplant appointment). She weighed 133.5 pounds. After getting through the clinic in a record time of one hour, we met up with cousins Bev and Becky at the Cracker Barrel in Mechanicsville, VA for lunch.

We headed to Princeton and stayed at the Days Inn (our families always stay there whenever we come for a funeral~thankfully, no funeral this time). But we were so shocked to see how much the place had grown in less than a decade. My mom kept saying, "They changed the roads on me. I don't know where I am!".

On Friday, we left our base camp in Princeton, WV. From there we went to: Bluefield, VA; Bluefield, WV; Pocahontas, VA (where my dad is from and where the above picture was taken); Bossevain, VA; Bishop, VA (where my mom spent most of her younger years); Tazewell, VA (to visit 95 year old Aunt Osie White); and back to Bluefield, VA to pick up flowers for the gravesites of both sets of my grandparents in Bluefield, WV. It was really cool to see how God led us to all the places my mom wanted to visit~all without a map! But those mountain roads are not for me!!! And Sara marveled at how people could put a trampoline outside their house on the side of a mountain. On Friday night, we drove up to Beckley, WV, and met our cousins, Sam and Barb, and Barb's mom, Phyllis, for dinner at the Cracker Barrel (we're becoming regulars). On the way home, we saw the most beautiful full moon and Sara tried (hilariously) to get a photo of it. She succeeded and I've posted my pictures to my webshots account (http://community.webshots.com/user/anitamonroe).

On Saturday morning, we left for home and took I-77 north to I-64 east - soooo much easier than 64/81! I highly recommend this alternate route to avoid the trucks. There was almost no traffic and the scenery was great. Traffic remained good and we made excellent time - until Richmond, of course. Then it was stop and go until we hit the Monitor-Merrimac Tunnel and had coasted through all of the Hampton Roads cities (for those who don't know, the 7 cities are Newport News, Hampton, Suffolk, Chesapeake, Portsmouth, Norfolk and Virginia Beach).

Unfortunately, my parents fell while going up the porch steps when they arrived home and both have bruises and scratches on them. Pray for quick healing. We made it through the entire trip without a hitch, and then we all fell apart when we got home.

My mom returns to EVMS tomorrow to hopefully have her bandage removed from her head. She is still barely eating and it's frustrating for her and us. Please pray for strength for her and my dad.

John & Sara are at a backpacking camp with the church youth group in the mountains of western North Carolina (Montreat College). For those of you who know John, you know my greatest concern is that he come back not wearing a cast! I'm not as worried about Sara. Pray for safety for their group and as they return on Saturday.

Thanks for the continued support.

Love, Anita

IHOP

You know, I'm very grateful for the IHOP. My mom enjoys going there and she eats better there than at home, I think. We celebrated John's 44th birthday at IHOP yesterday and although she was weak and a bit lightheaded, she seemed to enjoy it.

Last Wednesday she had the 2nd melanoma removed from her scalp under local anesthesia. They gave her medication through her IV, she fell asleep before they even got to the operating room, and she woke up easily. She was home by 5:30 p.m. and eating dinner that some McKendree Methodist Church ladies fixed. She will return to the doctor's office on Wednesday to get the staples and bandage removed (she has a little spongebob sponge covering the area).

On Thursday, Sara and I head to Richmond with my parents for my mom's appointment at MCV. Then we all go to Bluefield, WV, to visit my parents' old stomping grounds.

My dad still has pain in his left ribcage area, but the bone scan and x-ray were negative. Probably Arthur Itis~can't ever get rid of him!

Thanks for the continued prayers.

Love,

Anita

4th of July

Happy 4th! Hope yours was good. We went to a VFW (Veterans of Foreign Wars) picnic with John's parents and my parents~both dads are lifetime members. My mom ate a bit (mostly baked beans, watermelon and a bite of pie). Here is a picture of us at the picnic.

The surgery for the removal of my mom's second melanoma is scheduled for Wednesday, July 9th at 1:30 p.m. at Sentara Norfolk General Hospital. It's an outpatient procedure. Pray that it goes well without complications.

The doctors have decided not to have her take more scans to see if the cancer has spread. Her oncologist will monitor her every three months and the head and neck surgeon will remove any melanomas that may pop up. She has elected not to receive additional radiation (which would be on her scalp) and does not want a feeding tube, both of which my dad and I agree with.

She still tires fairly easily but God granted my family a week in the mountains (a wonderful vacation) and my parents didn't have any problems while we were gone. My dad does have a CT scan scheduled for Tuesday, July 8th to try to figure out why he has pain on his left side (which has been there for many months). Pray that they will be able to figure out the cause of the pain - the x-ray he had was normal.

Sara & I plan on taking my parents to West Virginia from July 17-19 (she goes to MCV for a check-up on the 17th) so she can see her old hometown and visit the cemetery where her parents and in-laws are buried.

Thanks for the continued prayers. May God bless you as we celebrate our freedoms.

Anita

p.s.: My dad, the ever-lucky one, won $101 in the 50/50 raffle at the VFW picnic. Woo hoo!

Decisions

We celebrated Father's Day at our house today with burgers and chicken. Unfortunately, my mom is not eating or drinking much and has lost 14 pounds in the last month. The radiation oncologist wants her to get a feeding tube but she doesn't want one and my dad and I don't think it's a good option, either. But everything burns her throat, so even drinking is difficult. She gets lightheaded and her legs are weak, probably because she's not getting the nutrition she needs.

She returns to the head and neck surgeon on Tuesday. I'll keep you posted.

The Next Step?

The next step is trusting in God. I received the path report today and it confirms that the lesion on my mom's head is metastatic melanoma. She returns to the head and neck surgeon next Tuesday and we find out the options.

Good news ~ my mom's eating a little better. She ate 1/2 of a baked potato on Sunday and has gone out for pancakes with my dad twice. He is very concerned about her lack of eating. When he's given good food, he will eat. I think we'll have them over for a cookout on Father's Day. We're considering getting an aide to come in a do a little light housework, make dinner, etc., a few times a week.

My parents' computer displayed the blue screen of death about a month ago and they purchased a new one on Sunday at Wal-Mart. I'm working on getting it set up. They haven't been able to check email since last month. But try sending them one now and I'm sure you'll get a reply soon

(a-bmatson@cox.net).

Sara has an upper GI scheduled next Tuesday, as well. Please pray that it will show any stomach issues because she has been having problems with getting sick after eating for about a year.

John injured himself jumping on a trampoline a few weeks ago, so we're trying to figure out if he has a hernia. He's scheduled to see a surgeon on my birthday (June 30), but I'm trying to get an earlier appointment.

Daniel is officially a middle schooler ~ aaaaaahhhhH! Been there, done that. Hopefully it will be easier the second time around.

And we've hired a new assistant at work. She starts next week. I'm very excited! She seems normal, which trust me, is a definite plus!

Will keep you posted on the treatment plan for my mom. Thanks for the prayers.

A sermon I heard this week made it clear that we are to worship God in all circumstances, whether those that we brought on ourselves or those we can't control. Some days it's harder than others, but I know when I am worshiping God, I feel soooo much better!

Anita

Each Day is a Gift

That's what's written on the picture I gave my mom for Mother's Day this year. It's in my profile photo.

Unfortunately, we received some negative news about my mom today. About 2 weeks ago, at the same time she finished radiation treatments to her neck, she developed a lesion on her scalp, near the original melanoma site. Unfortunately, this lesion is also cancerous, probably melanoma (they are sending it to pathology), and while she could have surgery on it, more will probably pop up. She could also have radiation treatment, but she is so weak now, I don't know if she could handle it. She's lost about 40 pounds since August and is still not eating and barely drinking.

The surgeon who removed the lymph nodes and parotid gland will meet with the "Tumor Board" (a group of physicians who discuss patients and their diagnoses) on Thursday and see if they can come up with a treatment plan.

This news was hard to take. Please remember us in your prayers.

Anita

Burns :(

A very quick note to update you~
My mom's right ear and neck are burned from the radiation and are starting to peel and her earlobe is black. Please pray for quick healing.

She still can't swallow well, either. Please pray something, anything, would taste good and that she would force herself to drink. She sees her primary care doctor and the neck surgeon this week for follow-up.

She got her hair cut very short so it will bother her less.

Ring That Bell!

Hurray!

She got to ring the bell on Friday ~

and loud enough for the entire building to hear it!

My mom finally finished her 30 treatments of radiation therapy, but not without a lot of lost weight, uneaten meals and burns on her face and neck. Please pray that she will heal quickly.

She returns to the surgeon at the end of May and to the oncologist at the end of June. New scans will be performed in July. We'll keep you posted.

Here are photos of her with her mask and certificate of completion.

Mother's Day

We went by my parents' house on the way home from church. Since she is not eating (hardly at all), we all decided we would wait until she enjoys eating again to go out to dinner for Mother's Day. We took cheeseburgers & fries to my parents but my mom ate a few fries and that was it. She drank some Carnation instant breakfast in milk. We went to dinner with John's family this afternoon.

Only 5 more treatments to go! Please pray for strength and the ability to drink for my mom so that she will not get dehydrated this week.

Could Be Better

Just a brief note to let you know that my parents still need to gain weight. I'm praying that once the radiation treatments are over that my mom will want to eat and drink again and that as a result, they will both be eating better. We went to see them briefly after church today and they had gone back to bed.

My mom is now seeing a physical therapist near her PCP's office and Medicare won't cover a home health nurse.

My dad refuses to take anti-anxiety medication because of the side effects he has read about. He and John replaced a bathroom sink yesterday.

Thanks for the continued prayers. I would encourage you to send them cards of encouragement.

Over Halfway There

Today was the 17th radiation treatment for my mom. Although still not eating as much as I'd like her to, she is sounding stronger on the phone. And she helped Daniel a bit with his state book project this weekend. She even said she's driven a couple of times. Her PCP has ordered physical therapy for her shoulder, so I guess she'll start that soon. She went today and they put ice on it. Seemed to help.

Haven't talked with my dad since Saturday, so he must be doing okay. He helped John weed-wack on Saturday. Still needs to eat more, though.

Just thought I'd give a brief update.

Let Them Eat Cake! (Or anything, for that matter)

As many of you know, my mom went to the hospital on Monday night with diabetic shock (her blood sugar was 34) and dehydration. After sitting in the ER for 8 1/2 hours, she was admitted for 2 days. John and Daniel brought her home on Wednesday afternoon. She continues to complain of a low appetite and difficulty eating and drinking. While the radiation has contributed to these complaints and the surgery contributed to low saliva output, it is ultimately my mom's choice whether she is going to eat and drink.

Thanks to those of you who have taken food to her and my dad. He needs to bring up his weight as well. While I have provided meals, Boost, Ensure, and Vitamin Water, it is ultimately up to my mom to fight this battle by choosing to eat.

Please pray for the constant pain in her shoulder and the continuing confusion. It is difficult for her and my dad. Also pray for my kids who are sad and don't always know how to put into words how they feel.

Thanks for caring.

Love, Anita

p.s.: please don't ever pray for stamina again :) sitting in an ER for 8 1/2 hours was enough for me

Stamina

That's the word for the week. Please pray for stamina for my mom, my dad, me, and my family.

Thanks! :)

Changes

I spoke too soon when I said that my mom didn't have radiation side effects. She has, unfortunately, noticed changes in her appetite (she's not as hungry) and in the smell and taste of foods. These are most likely related to the radiation to her right neck, and they will probably get worse before they get better. She is also very tired during the day and she seems to sleep 3-4 hours. Part of her need to sleep may be the Darvocet she is taking for her shoulder pain, but it may also be from the radiation.

When we went to MCV on Thursday, the doctor decided to change her anti-rejection (immunosuppressant) medication because he feels the one she has been since her transplant is not good for people with cancer. She will slowly make this change over the next 10 days, and there is always the risk of liver rejection. Please pray with us that rejection will not occur. They will do bloodwork in 10-12 days and once the results are back, she will change completely to the new medication. It makes me a bit nervous, but we are trusting that this doctor knows what he's doing. (In my business, that may not always be the best thing, but the doctor actually gave me clinical literature to support his opinion.)

My dad fell down the back porch steps and has a small bruise on his right shoulder blade. He doesn't have any fat, so he hit right on the blade. Ouch!

They both need to eat more, so I will be making dinners for them and taking them over on Sunday night and making more food on Wednesday nights. Pray for strength and stamina for me. I am also trying to help them with their accounting and John is cutting their lawn (in addition to our lawn, the largest we've ever had).

It struck me again today how strong both of my parents are. They have survived many things and so when people ask me, "How do you keep going?", I will now answer that I come from strong parents who taught me how to rely on God and to be strong.

Each day is a gift from God ~ enjoy it!

6 down, 24 to go

My mom has made it through 6 radiation treatments - only 24 more to go. Really, the radiation has not created any side effects. My mom's major problem is constant pain in her right shoulder and arm. She has stopped receiving in-home physical therapy and she is supposed to be doing exercises on her own. She is on a painkiller but doesn't like taking it because it makes her sleep. I don't know whether the pain will ever go away, because the nerves and muscles were affected as a result of her surgery.

The other big issue is her memory. She knows it's bad and that's difficult for her and my dad to deal with as well. She has also lost more weight.


I bought my dad some new clothes this week because almost everything he owns is too big. His echocardiogram was normal but he still has pain. He needs to put on a few pounds (well, more than a few!). When I told the choir that I was telling him to drink Boost, some misunderstood me to say "I'm telling him to drink booze"! I said, no that's me, I drink the booze and he drinks the Boost.

We head to Richmond tomorrow for a 6 month check up at MCV, where my mother received her liver almost 12 years ago. And, hopefully, we can go to West Virginia next weekend.

God is working in all of the members of our family and my parents are claiming healing for my mom. Please join us as we do the same.

Anita

PAR-TY!!!!

We partied on Sunday! We celebrated my mom's 75th birthday with friends and family ~ a real pick-me-up for my mom and our family. She greeted each guest and made sure that everyone knew each other. Always a great hostess! Thanks to the many friends and family who sent cards from afar. She really appreciated them. Thanks also for the photos you sent to me. They were included in the book or given to her separately, so she has all of them.

My dad had a 2D echocardiogram on Monday and will hopefully find out what is causing his rib cage-area pain soon. He is so tired but a real trooper. Pray that he will be able to rest and get some "down time". It is difficult for my mom when he is away from her and she worries that something will happen to him while he's driving.

My mom's shoulder continues to ache and she's still doing in-home PT twice a week. When her shoulder hurts, the strength in it diminishes. Pray that the pain will decrease.

The radiation treatments start tomorrow at 2:00 p.m. Then they will take place for a total of 30 sessions at 10:40 a.m. each weekday (or until they are completed). Thanks to those of you who have shared your stories and/or your families' stories with me about radiation treatments. It sounds like she should do well with a minimum of discomfort.

Please know that I'm praying for you guys, too. I have been through those "Where are you God?" moments but He always reminds me that He's right here. Those aren't the easiest of times, but I am grateful that God always listens and knows my heart.

Peace.

The Mask

Today I took my parents to the radiation oncologist's office - Dr. Stephen Brown. What a nice man! He has had the best bedside manner of anyone we've seen. He explained that while radiation is not generally successful in getting rid of melanoma, it is the best option they have right now. And hopefully any cancer cells that are present are small enough to eradicate with the radiation therapy.

My mom will need to have a mask made to fit her face for each of her 30 sessions (1/2 hour daily for 6 weeks) to keep her head in exactly the same position each time. I got this picture from the internet - her mask will look much like this one. My mom will be fitted for her mask on her 75th birthday, March 25. She will see the oncologist the next day for a previously scheduled follow-up appointment. Then, she will probably start the treatments the week of March 31st.

The side effects are localized, meaning that she will have redness and possibly tanning on her neck, she may have trouble swallowing and a dry throat, as well as possible sore throat and fatigue. She should not lose her hair or have nausea. The side effects of radiation are so much less than chemotherapy because chemotherapy is a systemic therapy - that is, it affects your entire system or body.

Please continue with us in prayer that

1) the side effects will be minimal

2) that she would be able to open her mouth and eat better

3) that the radiation will get rid of all of the cancer in her neck

4) that the pain in her right shoulder will get better with the home therapy she is getting

May the Lord bless you with a wonderful Easter. Remember~He is Alive!

Anita

Realization

I took my mom to the surgeon's office this morning for a re-check and explanation of the biopsy findings. He removed 27 lymph nodes from her right neck and 8 of them were positive for metastatic melanoma. The melanoma has also spread to the tissue and underlying fat in some areas. He has recommended that she see a radiation oncologist at Va. Oncology Associates (her appointment is next Friday, 3/21). The surgeon also suggested that she speak to her oncologist about potential Interferon therapy (a type of chemotherapy which makes you very, very sick). If it were me, though, I would not undergo the Interferon, but we will discuss it with the doctors. My mom said to the surgeon, "So I'm not out of the woods?" and he replied, "No, unfortunately not, with melanoma. It is an aggressive cancer." She handled it pretty well but was shaken.

On the way home, she said "So I'm eventually going to die from this" and I said "You gotta die from something". While I pray for a miracle of healing, there is acceptance as well, in knowing that we all die from something and if it is your time, then God will take you. My mother's faith in Christ and her fight against all of her medical problems over the last 12 years is proof that she is here for a reason. God will use her in this trial as He has in others.

Her eating is slowly improving, but she still has dry mouth and the nerves on the right side of her face, mouth and neck have been affected. She is having physical therapy in home for her right shoulder pain and inability to raise her right arm completely. The nerves and muscles at the trapezius muscle were affected by the surgery. And she is bruised everywhere from the handling at the hospital (she has sensitive skin). She has lost 14 pounds in 2 months but is trying to eat as much as possible (she also has decreased appetite).

My dad is tired and thoughtful about the latest events. He will see the doctor today for shortness of breath and arthritis in his ribs (as well as recovering gout in his foot). Pray for his strength and health as well (he also has a pacemaker and defibrillator).

Me - I just keep going. But I am treating myself to massages twice a month. I went for a short one on Sunday but had to go back on Monday for an hour to get all the kinks out. I will return at the end of the month.

My husband is a saint and has been very attentive to my emotional needs lately. God bless him! Pray he finds a job he really likes.

My kids are dealing with their own issues, but pray that they will vocalize their feelings about this situation and just their lives in general. Pray that we will make it through the next 55 school days . . .

My dog - I love him! He helps calm me at the end of a long day. So cute he is, too! But the shedding, oh man!

Thanks for your continued care, support, love, concern, prayers, etc. It's a comfort knowing so many people out there care.

Looking Good

I took this picture of my mom today so you can see how much she has improved, especially over the last few days. We had lunch today with her and my dad and they had gone to church. We told her to rest today because going to church was a big deal. I know it took a lot of energy for her to get ready and go. Everyone at church was surprised she was there, too.

I got my hair cut yesterday. I needed a change and to simplify my life. It's been a long time since it's been this short. John doesn't really like it, but it can always grow back out.

I feel like things are on the upswing. Keep praying for strength for us all.

Getting Better

I saw my mom last night and she looked a lot better. Having the staples out helped, I think. She said her right jaw and neck hurt. She can't open her mouth all of the way and has to take smaller bites, but she's eating and drinking. I plan to take a picture of her tomorrow so I can post it.

Not in Control

After I had my little meltdown this morning (I'll get to that later), I realized yet again that I have no control - none at all. And that's a frustrating thing for the Type-A personality in me. While I am responsible for navigating the daily life of 7 people (me, my parents, my husband, my daughter, my son and my boss), and I have to schedule appointments, deal with clients, make sure my mom has taken her medicine, take phone calls from my dad because my mom is not cooperating with him, email my son's teachers, and encourage my daughter to strive to excel in school (while she does all the household chores for me), I ultimately am not in control. I think we Type-A's like to puff ourselves up by thinking we can handle it all - BRRRNNNNTTTT! WRONG! (Those of you in the Tab choir know that sound from the old days.) God is in control and knows what is going to happen long before we even consider the possibilities. But that does not keep me from getting upset when things go wrong. Which brings me to the statement - It's a good thing I don't own a firearm.

My mom was scheduled to have her staples removed this morning at 8:15. I called and confirmed this with the office yesterday. We were running late and the entrance to the building is really messed up, but she managed to get there by 8:25. Once she checked in, a nurse came to the window and kept staring at us. She finally came around to the door and called my mom to come back. She looked at the staples, said her neck looked good and said she'd be right back. She came back less than 5 minutes later and said, "Here's what's going on" - I just put my head in my hands, because I knew there was a problem. She said that they were not scheduled to see patients until 1:00 today and all the residents were in surgery. She was trying to get the Chief Resident to get someone in the office to remove my mom's staples. If that didn't happen, I would need to bring her back this afternoon. (The first time we went to this office, they didn't even have her down for an appointment and we had to wait 2 hours. That's why I called to confirm this time!)

The nurse left the room and I told my mom I was leaving before I lost it with someone. I then went into the waiting room where my dad and my son were the only 2 people in the room and proceeded to loudly tell them that the idiots at this office shouldn't have scheduled my mom for that time and that we would either have to wait for a resident or come back in the afternoon. As I started walking out of the office, one of the women at the front desk said "M'am" and I told her she didn't want to speak to me because I would go off on her. I went to the bathroom, had a minor breakdown and returned to the office, where we proceeded to wait another 45 minutes for the resident to show up and the staples to be removed.

So . . . we deal with that, my mom's neck looks a lot better and we leave the building. A nice gentleman (with the parking division) with a wheelchair sees my mom walking out (he took her in the building as well) and they cross the street to the hospital instead of coming back to the parking lot. What in the world!?!?!?! After waiting 5 minutes or so and seeing they are not returning, I go out of the lot and to the hospital to get them while they have turned around to come back to the lot. ARGH!

We drop Daniel at school (1 1/2 hours late) and I stop in McDonald's to get some breakfast for my parents. After being so angry (btw, I never yelled at anyone at the stupid doctor's office), I got to watch other people have a bad morning. I must admit, I was glad it wasn't just me! A customer was really mad that the cashier gave him the wrong order. The cashier, rather than saying he was sorry, told the man that is what he ordered and then failed to give him his hash browns (!). The customer was pretty peeved at that point and the cashier told him to come see him after he clocked out - that cashier could have taken him down. Would have been an interesting X-treme fighting match, but that's another story . . . All the while, the manager is growling at her cashiers and the 10 people in line are getting a good laugh.

I get my parents home and tell my mom to take her insulin and pills, and the new diabetes sticker thingy (like my technical terms?) still isn't working properly. She tells my dad she wants him to leave her and go get some test strips. He calls me and I tell him to tell her to just take the insulin and I'll have John deal with it tonight (which my saint of a husband is willing to do, thankfully). My dad sometimes has to call me to get my mom to listen to him. Oh, and my dad found her ID and insurance card (which she thought was lost) but they still don't know where her car keys are. Not that I want her driving, mind you, especially since she doesn't recognize city streets that she's driven for 40 years. That's so hard for me to see . . . dementia stinks.

The physical therapist was supposed to come today to my mom's house. Hopefully he's made it there by now and she won't be in a great deal of pain when he's done. But at least she has pain meds. :) Give me some, will ya?

Guess I'll actually get some work done now. Feel free to call my mom or go by and see her. She is eating better and looking better.

She Made It!

My mom has made it home. She has eaten pudding and a Little Debbie cake, along with some juice. Her sense of taste seems to be coming back. The home health nurse is supposed to come and evaluate her in the morning. It is going to be a long, slow process.

Thanks for the prayers and concern.

Going Home

My mom will be coming home this afternoon (Monday). The doctor has ordered a swallowing study to make sure she is not obstructed and then she will be cleared to come home. I will be picking her up late afternoon. Home health will come evaluate her tomorrow morning. I haven't spoken with her today, but the doctor and discharge coordinator both said she looks better and is sitting up in the chair. She doesn't want to go to rehab, so we will try bringing her home.

Keep praying that she will drink something besides water. Hopefully her sense of taste will return.

End of the Rope

I have hit the wall today. This is post-op day 4 for my mom and I can't deal with the exhaustion of trying to go to the hospital daily and take care of things at home. My mom has had a different nurse every day and I've liked them all except for the girl today. When I got to the hospital, my mom looked miserable sitting in the chair. She still can't eat anything because her throat hurts and she doesn't want to eat because nothing tastes good - she even turned down a smoothie and a Frosty! You know she must not feel well.

Anyway, after telling the nurse that my mom was asking for pain medication, I left her room because I could not deal with the nurse's attitude anymore. Maybe it was my attitude - I can't deal with that either, but I can't get away from myself now, can I?

My dad and my husband, John, stayed with my mom until the nurse got her back in bed and on pain meds. When they left, they said she was sleeping (she usually falls asleep with one Tylenol - imagine what Percocet is doing to her).

No one really knows if she will be discharged tomorrow, but even when she comes home, she has a long road ahead. My dad can't take care of her by himself. I need to know how to navigate the home health nurse and Meals on Wheels people because I work full-time and can't be there during the day with them. (And I'm an only child - piece of advice: have more than one child if at all possible.)

When I looked for pictures of people hanging on to the end of a rope, I had to smile at the one I picked because I wish that my hanging on could be as much fun right now. The sermon today (preached directly to me, I might add) was on Worship or Worry. I am really not worrying so much about my mom as I am concerned about how I'm going to do it all. I know God is in control. It would be great to have some extra time in the day or hands in the pot to help with just the day to day details of taking care of my parents. I know my 82 year old dad is concerned about not being able to take care of his wife once she gets home.

It's great to know that people are praying for us. It's only by God's grace that we get through each day.

My mom

I've created this blog mostly to ramble on about my mom's melanoma diagnosis and what happens when a loved one is diagnosed with cancer. I am mad at this disease and what it does to people, but also love seeing how God uses cancer in a Christian's life to be a testimony to Him.

My mom, Ann, was diagnosed with Stage II melanoma of the scalp in August, 2007. She has since had the melanoma removed (in September, 2007) and undergone numerous tests. Cancer was found in the lymph nodes of her right neck and she had surgery on February 27, 2008. Thankfully, the cancer appears to have not spread to any other parts of her body (i.e., it has not metastasized).

I work for lawyers who specialize in medical malpractice cases and have watched two of our clients die from undiagnosed melanoma. I know what this disease can do. I am so grateful that my mother's disease has not spread, but I know that it can recur at any time and anywhere in her body.

She has been such a testimony, especially during the last 12 years of her life. She underwent a liver transplant in August, 1996, at MCV in Richmond. She has never had rejection from the liver but was very ill in the fall of 2003 and spring of 2004. She rebounded from those illnesses and continued to give God the credit for her health.

Now, she is beginning a long road of recovery from a surgery that took part of her parotid gland and several lymph nodes on the right side of her neck.