Final Days

While my stomach is nauseous as I write this and my dad is having stomach issues & chest pressure, both of us from the stress we are under, I am comforted by knowing that God is using my mother's final days to bring Glory to Himself.

On Monday afternoon, my mother's pain increased significantly. She began receiving 1ml of morphine every two hours. By Tuesday morning when I kissed her (and told her she was the greatest Mom ever), her eyebrows raised in response to my voice, but she couldn't open her eyes. On Tuesday afternoon, I was told that her time was getting closer. I left work (where I'd been for 3 hours) and came to the house. All my family gathered, along with my uncle and aunt, the sweet Russian girl who is their caregiver, the hospice nurse, the hospice chaplain and the pastor. We took turns in the room with my mom and she was totally unresponsive. Her breathing became more labored and you could hear the fluid in her throat. I spent the night again with the hospice nurse there and awoke Wednesday morning to find little change. On Wednesday afternoon, the nurse said her lungs were filled with fluid and her pupils were fixed. And she continued to breath (10 respirations a minute). I'm thinking, how can she still be breathing?

I decided to go to Sara's volleyball game and sleep at home last night. I took my dad his biscuit this morning and checked on my mom. Her face began changing (the death mask, I would call it) on Tuesday night and she continues to look less and less like herself. This morning I could see her ribs. Dying is not a pretty process, physically or emotionally.

I have told my mom everything I need to tell her. I've encouraged her to place her other foot in Heaven (because I think she has one in already). My friend, Joy, has encouraged me with scripture (Is. 46:3-4; Deut.33:27)about God holding us from birth to death in His arms. I have told my mom that God is holding her in His arms and is ready to carry her to Jesus.

Yesterday morning, I was questioning God about why He continues to let my mom linger. She doesn't appear to be in pain. I know hearing is the last to go, so I speak to her when I see her. Sometimes it seems that her breathing changes when I talk to her, but I don't know. But then I read a devotion from Our Daily Bread (dated 5/6/09):

Why is being on time so challenging for some of us? Even when we start early, something inevitably gets in our way to make us late.

But here’s the good news: God is always on time! Speaking of the arrival of Jesus, Paul said, “When the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son” (Gal. 4:4). The long-awaited, promised Savior came at just the right time.

Jesus’ arrival during the Roman Empire’s Pax Romana (the peace of Rome) was perfect timing. The known world was united by one language of commerce. A network of global trade routes provided open access to the whole world. All of this guaranteed that the gospel could move rapidly in one tongue. No visas. No impenetrable borders. Only unhindered access to help spread the news of the Savior whose crucifixion fulfilled the prophecy of the Lamb who would be slain for our sins (Isa. 53). All in God’s perfect timing!

All of this should remind us that the Lord knows what time is best for us as well. If you’re waiting for answered prayer or the fulfillment of one of His promises, don’t give up. If you think He has forgotten you, think again. When the fullness of time is right for you, He’ll show up—and you’ll be amazed by His brilliant timing! — Joe Stowell

Not ours to know the reason why
Unanswered is our prayer,
But ours to wait for God’s own time
To lift the cross we bear. —Anon.

God’s timing is always perfect.

My prayer is that God will take my mom Home soon. I am getting more concerned about my dad's physical health. But I know God's timing is perfect, even when it doesn't seem like it is to us.

Family & friends have been such an encouragement to us and we appreciate you all.

Love,
Anita